My Guided Meditation

In my guided meditation that I practice every day, I incorporate a few different exercises and tools that I have found and developed to help with my anxiety, depression, and negativity. It is a very personal practice, but I think it can used “as is,” or altered, for most people to find what they seek through meditation, especially those who have trouble meditating.

It is important to note that meditation is not what most people think. It is not “clearing your mind.” I forget who and when, but I read an interview by a meditation teacher that explained clearing your mind and thinking of nothing is almost impossible, even for experts. They employ guided mediation. –personally, I guide myself where I want to go.

I have also spoken with a few people that claim they cannot meditate but they set aside time each day to do simple things, like gardening. To me, this is meditation. It is about relaxing, centering, grounding, finding peace and finding a place away from the constant influx of thoughts.

I am by no means an expert. This just works for me.

My guided meditation took a lot of practice, and I still have some trouble here and here, especially when I am overtired. Yes, I have fallen asleep. It has evolved though, and I have gotten better, so that most times, as soon as I begin, I can feel my body relaxing and tension leaving me.

I find it most beneficial to talk through everything out loud. There will also a recording of this for anybody who wishes to try it.

A routine is at the heart of it. I lay back in my recliner, cover myself in a soft blanket–which may be switching to a weighted blanket, cover my eyes with my sleeping mask (a weighted one), and put on my noise cancelling headphones.

The mask and the headphones, in particular, help me block out distractions. I put my phone on silent and go to a YouTube video of ocean waves crashing. I set the sound so that it is loud enough to cover my tinnitus (ringing in my ears) and outside noises, but low enough so I can still hear the sound of my own voice.

The important thing, for me, is allowing myself this. It is a gift I give to myself every day. This typically takes me 30 to 45 minutes–there is a lot of deep breathing in parts. I am hoping to expand it a little more, so it covers the entire hour.

I look at it the same way someone else might look at going to the gym or using a home gym. Instead of working out my body, though, I am working out my mind. It is really the same thing. Mind and body health are interconnected. As said above, maybe a workout is a form of meditation?

I begin my settling in, get comfortable, and then taking three deep, full breaths. In through nose to full capacity, and then out, ensuring that I use that little extra effort to full deflate my lungs.

***

In. And out.

In. And out.

In. And out.

With each breath, I settle deeper into the chair, deeper into myself. I allow the chair to hold my weight. The earth to hold my weight.

I allow myself the grace to accept the invitation of the Universe, God, a Higher Power, to hold me and cradle me in aloha: love, affection, peace, compassion, and mercy.

In. And out.

I turn my attention to my mind, my thought patterns, my neural pathways. The old actions, reactions and coping mechanisms are there, engraved like deep, deep ruts in a road. I liken it to a part of the road on the way to Papakolea, where, after dozens of years of the locals ferrying tourists out to the green sand beach, the ruts are like a maze of mini canyons. The walls of the ruts can be over twice as high as the pick-up trucks that travel them.

The ruts are deep. Old. The actions, reactions and coping mechanisms. They served a small child and young man well, so I appreciate them. They kept me safe, kept me sane, and kept me moving forward. But it is time to move past them, beyond them, as they inhibit my journey with purpose, passion and authenticity towards self-actualization.

I would never do it to that part of the road to Papakolea, as it is part of its charm, but, for my mind, those deep ruts and old paths have to go, so I imagine bringing in a team of bulldozers, flattening out that red dirt coastal plain. It is time for new neural pathways, straighter ones, healthier ones, ones of aloha: love, affection, peace, compassion and mercy. More direct paths so I can move with purpose, passion and authenticity towards self-actualization.

In. And Out.

Standing on that flat, red dirt coastal plain, I do another centering exercise, a grounding exercise, to dive deeper into myself and away from all of the noise of the day.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Five things that I can see. Four things I can hear. Three things I can feel. Two things I can smell. One thing I can taste.

I can see the packed red dirt underneath me, almost like a red clay. Off to my right, I can see the blue-green swells of the oceans. I can see the black lava rock coastline. Enormous slabs, boulders, pebbles and everything in between that will turn into a black sound beach in thousands of years. I can see the white foam of the crashing surf, the tips of the waves as they crash into the black coastline. Off in the distance, there is the green sand beach, light green, olive green. Made in a very unique set of circumstances in a volcano. Crushed olivine, a semi-precious stone. There are only four beaches like it in the world.

Hearing is a bit harder on this desolate coastal plain, alone. Peaceful. The howling of the wind is ever present, so close to Southpoint, the southernmost point in the US. In a direct line, there is only ocean for more than half the globe to Antarctica. The crashing of the waves is also a constant, the sweep of the water drawing outward, and then curling with the incoming ocean to create waves that pound at the black, lava rock coastline. Alone, you may hear the occasional gull or other seabird calling out to each other, though it is hard to hear much of anything over the wind and waves. Finally, the fourth thing to hear, is whistling: the whistling of the wind through blowholes, cracks and crevices.

I can feel the solidness of the red packed dirt underneath me. Exposed on the coastal plain, I can feel the tropical sun beating down on me. I can feel the cool ocean wind and breezes whisking the sweat off of me so that I am both warm and cool at the same time.

The earthy smell of the red dirt on the coastal plain is an ever-present scent, as well as the tangy smell of the surf. All of the rich aromas brough to me on the breezes.

Taste is salt, but from two different sources. There is the salt of my sweat as it drips down my brow and face to my lips and the corners of my mouth. There is also the gentler saltiness of the brine carried by the ocean breezes.

In. And Out.

Centered, grounded on that coastal plain, I now imagine roots growing from my fingertips and feet. They intertwine and grow thick, and they dive deep down into the earth, like an ancient oak tree.

Grounded. Safe. Secure. Ready for the next part of my guided meditation.

I turn my thoughts back to my mind, my body, and the cells that are me. I release all stress, tenseness, anxiety and negativity into my body, so it is just a swirling mass of darkness like black and grey clouds, swirling, circulating and spiraling within me.

I release all of the negative thoughts into it that are encased within my cells and memory. The anger, the anxiety, the depression, the hurt, the pain, the “what ifs,” the “could have beens,” the loneliness and despair, the disconnection, the harshness at myself, the intrusive thoughts and the guilt.

I now turn my thoughts to the kind and gentle Universe, God, a Higher Power, and the night sky. With the bright, white, warm light of the positive energy as a backdrop, I think of the sky, littered with points of light, and begin to build my net.

Each point of light in the night sky has a name attached to it. Past, present and future, they are people that love me, care about me and want the best for me. The names could fill a book, a library.

Some of the points of light don’t have names. Some have been forgotten in the mists of time. Some are people that I have not met yet. Some are simply people like me, unknown, that send out thoughts, prayers, positive energy to any who might need it.

The strands of the net begin to form with the connections between me and all those people. The weave of the net becomes thicker and stronger with the interconnections of all those people. All those people are interconnected somehow, some closer, some further, but all forming the weave of the net.

The net is safety, security. I can trip and stumble into depression, but I cannot fall into the dark pit of despair. The depression and other things want to tell me that I am alone, utterly alone. But the net catches me, cradles me, reminds me that I am not alone. I have never been alone. I will never be alone.

For the purpose of the mediation, the net becomes something different. A focal point, a focus, for that warm, bright, white light of positive energy. It passes through the net, gaining even more warmth and brightness of aloha: love, affection, peace, compassion and mercy. It focuses on the top of my head and enters my mind, pushing the darkness and the negative energy down.

In. And Out.

I allow myself the grace of the Universe, God, a Higher Power to sweep into me, pushing the darkness down as it touches every part of me, releasing tension, anxiety and the last vestiges of negative energy, pulling it from my cells like a poultice.

The top of my head, my brow, easing the lines of tension that have formed. My mind, my eyes, my nose and mouth. My tongue, my chin, the back of my head, my chin and ears, and then down into my throat and neck, pushing the darkness down into my shoulders that used to carry so much weight.

Atlas shrugged.

The darkness and negative energy are pushed down from my shoulders by the warm, white light of the Universe. Each thought, each movement of the light, an invitation to parts of my body to relax. My biceps, my elbows, my forearms. My wrists, hands, fingers and finally my fingertips. The darkness and negative energy are then pushed down into the roots by the warm, white light of the Universe.

I turn my attention to my chest, my heart, my heart energy. The positive energy pushing down into my solar plexus and abdomen. Drawing the darkness and negative energy from my ribs, my back, my kidneys, my lower back and into my hips.

Touching, caressing, massaging.

My lower abdomen, my pelvis, my genitals, the base of my spine, and then down into my legs.

Existing in peace, within myself, the warm, white light pushes down into my thighs, my knees, my shins and calves. My ankles, and then finally into my feet and toes.

Filled with the warm, white light, the darkness and negative energy is pushed down into the roots, down, down, deep into the earth because the earth can take it, handle it. Like the great oak tree that transforms carbon dioxide into life giving oxygen, so the earth filters and scrubs the negative energy and transforms it into positive energy to send back into the world for the people who need it.

It is a thought, a prayer, and can be a special intention for people I know or a general intention for anybody who needs it.

With the warm, white light of the Universe coursing through me, the aloha, love, affection, peace, compassion and mercy, I set my intentions for the evening and the following day.

I begin with the general intentions, the common ones I invoke, manifest every day.

To live aloha, be aloha. Love, affection, peace, compassion, mercy. To offer it to myself and to others.

To continue my journey of purpose, passion and authenticity towards self-actualization, whether it is tiny steps or great leaps, knowing that just the thought itself, even if I do not get anything done, is enough, and not to beat myself up about the small steps or non-steps, as this is a part of self mercy.

Specific intentions are more in response to the day’s events, manifesting my daily growth towards things that are happening.

I want to sleep. Fall asleep quickly and wake up rested, filled with joy and energy.

I want to continue my purpose with writing, thoughts, ideas, and continue crafting the life I want for myself.

I want peace, shutting out the constant noise of the day, the worries that I cannot do anything about, accept that I cannot do anything about them except wait and live in the present.

I want a better understanding of the one part of aloha that still escapes me, mercy, mercy for myself.

In. And out.

In. And out.

In. And out.

With my daily mediation, my exercise, coming to a close, I need to return to the here and now, where I am, outside of myself, but still retaining the inner peace I found. Gently. Ever so gently. With soft eyes. Wiggleing my toes and fingers more and more as I do the countdown. Moving and shifting parts of my body.

7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

I come back into my room, underneath my blankets, by counting down through my chakras, noticing them, trying to align them or really just think about what they represent, my energy centers vibrating and in rhythm to the positive energy of the Universe coursing through me.

7. My Root Chakra, at the base of my spine. Red. Related to earth and smell. Associated with grounded physically and emotionally. Survival. Self-preservation. Connecting my body with the earth.

6. Sacral Shakra, in the lower abdomen, lower back. Orange. Related to water and taste. Associated with sexuality, emotions, eroticism, pleasure, creativity, sensation, and flow. Ease of change, fluidity, balanced emotions, and the daily spark of life.

5. Solar Plexus Chakra, upper abdomen between navel and sternum. Yellow. Related to fire and sight. Associated with ego, will, personal boundaries, identity and logical thought. Healthy use of personal power, ample personal energy, strong confidence and self-esteem.

4. Heart Chakra, center of chest at heart level. Green. Related to air and touch. Related to love, integration, self-love, compassion, healing, relationships, connection to the Universe/Divine love. Ability to feel compassion, healthy or healing intimate relationships, inner peace, no barriers to healing.

3. Throat Chakra, center of throat. Light Blue. Related to sound and hearing. Associated with communication, self-expression, creativity, truth, authenticity. Ability to express one-self and manifest personal essence in the world, clear communication, honesty and integrity, rich creative life.

2. Brow Chakra (Third Eye), forehead, between and slightly above the eyebrows. Indigo. Related to sixth sense/intuition and light. Associated to sight, both physical and intuitive, insight, intellect and intuition. Ability to see clearly, both literally and figuratively, wisdom, clear understanding, perspective and insight.

1. Crown Chakra, top of head. White or Violet. Related to thought, consciousness. Associated with deep self-knowledge, spiritual life, sense of oneness and community, relationship with the divine, transcendence. Ability to have a sense of meaning and purpose, sense of wonder, and a feeling of kinship with all beings.

I wiggle my toes and fingers, slip off the eye mask and headphones, and come back into the room where I am mediating, come back into myself and the present, my immediate surroundings.

I thank myself for allowing myself this time of self-care.

If necessary, I repeat the grounding exercise, the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, but within my room. 5 things I can see in my room, 4 things I can hear in my room, 3 things I can feel, 2 things I can smell, and one thing that I can taste.

***

I slowly get up and immediately move to a yoga mat, where I do my back exercises and stretching. Then, I do some very basic yoga poses. I do three sets of cat and cow with the deep breathing and then settle into child pose for three more sets of deep breathing.

Finally, I continue my day, usually taking some time to just relax and sip tea.

Aloha.